In the weeks that followed, she taught me (at my request) several gestures and phrases that would doubtlessly offend Ecuadorians and I have taught her, among other things, hop-scotch, patty-cake and a game of statue. Andrea is nothing more than a lady-child, but she has been stripped of her innocence. She is a businesswoman, a shoe shiner on whom her family depends for its next meal. As a kid, I was always told that I shouldn’t talk to strangers and I lived a protected childhood. To then see Andrea flit from person to person asking if they wanted to avail her services unnerved me more than a fair bit.

On the occasions that she does find one, she guides them over to the bench and kneels before them as she sets about doing her job in as professional a manner as she can. Her mother is ailing and her brother is but an infant. She makes no mention of her father and I think she’d rather keep it that way, which is why I ask nothing of him. She is an exceedingly sweet child with an exceedingly large responsibility, more than any child should be asked to bear and through it all I have not seen her really smile even once. With time, the festival gets into full swing and no one wants their shoes shined and so Andrea makes her way to my side, offering me a sweet little hello before taking my hand and guiding me across the square.

Officially, Corpus Christi is a Catholic celebration. But I am in the Andean Highlands and this festival is often celebrated by locals who aren’t catholic at all. They speak Quichua and Corpus Christi here is a melting pot of cultures and you can’t quite tell where one culture stops and another takes over. The festival itself is an orgasm of colors and sounds and music hits you from every conceivable direction. Sweet delights, balloons and a motorized caterpillar are all a part of it and it makes the festival a bit surreal. In the distance, fireworks pop and I stop in my tracks but Andrea tells me “it’ll be fun” in her local tongue and so it is.

The flames spit out in all directions as the crowds gather. And in this far-off version of Disney World on Independece Day, I am enamored and child-like but Andrea leaves my hand and says she’ll see me tomorrow if I walk the usual route and so said she runs off into the crowd to ride the caterpillar unencumbered. For a moment, she is a child again and in those sparkling lights of Corpus Christi, I finally see her crack a smile. She has found a little slice of heaven at Cuenca’s height of 10,000 feet and in the moment all is right and the child in Andrea is alive.

Rank 10 – All-star Fiesta in Cancun, Mexico

More than anything else, you will notice bare flesh. This is admittedly the best place if you are looking for some booze and boobs. Some of the few popular events that take place here are eye-popping fashion shows, celebrity basketball and record-releases. This is a five-day haven for people seeking fun and wild things. And there are over 10,000 people who indulge in this event every year. If this event entices you, log on to www.allstarfiesta.com

Rank 9 – Fantasy Fest in Key West, USA

Youk will immediately tag other fests as ‘innocent’ as soon as you enter Fantasy Fest. The nakedness, frolicsome titillation, drunken wickedness, and costume parades are just awesome and cannot be missed. But before you become a part of this event, make sure you have a boat to sail through the ocean of rum that flows in the streetsJ. No, you don’t have to pay a single penny to enter this fest. It’s free for all humankind.

The departure of this festival is celebrated with a costumed parade through the walkways of Duval Street. Crazy people get into outrageous masks, and negligible clothes. This year’s theme included freak shows, toga revelry, and body painting. If this sounds quite interesting, check out the official website www.fantasyfest.net

Rank 8 – Las Fallas in Valencia, Spain

If you like touching and playing with hot stuffs, fire that is, Las Fallas is an event tailor-made for you. Actually, it’s tailor made for thousands of fire-lovers. Over 500,000 people, majority are locals of Valencia, ram the town to witness the transformation of huge puppets into ashes. If you think they are crazy, it just get crazier because they pay $15 too $210 to watch this show of inferno. If you are seriously interested, I would suggest you to buy tickets at least 3-4 months in advance or you will miss the year’s ‘hot’ event.

Rank 7 – The Fetish and Fantasy Ball in Las Vegas

To you again, beer and boobs lovers. More than 5,000 people compete against each other in the popular costume party of The Fetish and Fantasy Ball that takes place in Las Vegas every year. No, the location isn’t any ramp or a stadium. People wander around in 12 bars and a huge beer backyard. There is a 24-hour casino as well. However, don’t fret if you miss out this festival. Las Vegas is always fun to be in.

Rank 6 – Munich Beerfest in Germany

Maybe you wouldn’t have heard about the above mentioned festivals. But if you tell me you don’t know about Munich Beerfest, I would have to laugh hard. This is the most popular and duplicated festival ever. This fest generally starts in the noontime as the Mayor of Munich sips in first pint after a long parade through the boulevards of the city. Local breweries compete against each other to attract drunkards to their stalls loaded with unlimited beer-arsenal.

However, there is always a clear winner – The Hofbrauhaus – that allures major crowd. If you ever happen to go there, you need to reach before 10.30 because the place is full by 11 am. And the waiters prohibit serving to those not seated. And I am sure, by 12 noon, you wouldn’t even be conscious to recollect your friends name whom you arrived here with.

Rank 5 – Henley-on-Todd Regatta in Alice Springs, Australia

Is it possible to hold a boat race in a dried up riverbed? Yes, it’s possible in Australia. In fact, it happens every year. This is a bizarre race, if you witness it for the first time. Participants make a gap in the base of the boat, put their legs in the hole and stand inside, pick up the boat like girls pick their skirts up, and run toward the finish line.

Carrying a heavy boat and running, quite tiring, isn’t it? Not if they are provided with unlimited supply of beer. People don’t really remember who the winner was as the participants and the audience are equally and considerably drunk. So, if you are a local champion, get a team of 8 members and come to Henley-on-Tod Regatta.

Rank 4 – Mardi Gras, New Orleans, Louisiana

The festival of Mardi Gras is a pleasing blend of highly spiced cuisine, negligible alcohol laws, 24-hour bars and unlimited pair of boobies. This is a place where people deal in beads for boobs. There is much to talk about the festival. But I sincerely cannot describe the flow and sexiness of those pairs. You have to see it with your eyes.

Rank 3 – Carnival in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Rio is typically known for its panoramic beaches and superbly figured females. However, that was during ancient times. Now, Rio is a synonym for carnival to the world population. It cannot be denied that laws of this carnival and place persuade consuming alcohol and partying. After being a part of The Carnival, a visitor rightly said “Akin to Mecca, every able-bodied male must and should visit Rio especially during carnival.”

Rank 2 – Love Parade in Germany

Hey, I ain’t being biased at all. This is probably the best carnival among all ten mentioned here. Ever since the Berlin Wall collapsed, the boulevard of this city holds the biggest open-air rave party. It attracts millions of horny and clammy youths from around the world. It’s not that police can’t interfere. They can, but they don’t. Instead, they will be noticed boozing and stripping on the streets. Here is a tip for foreign visitors, come a bit in advance as it will be a full house or full vicinity. Loveparade.de

Rank 1 – Nudes-A-Poppin’ Pageant in Ponderosa Sun Club, Indiana

You wouldn’t comprehend why I ranked this carnival as rank 1, unless you visit this fest yourself. Take a bottle of beer and walk nude around the resort. I bet not a single person will notice you or your curves, because there are simply many options for them. Ponderosa Sun Club, where just a couple of things are not allowed – clothes in swimming pool and camera in the festival. Everything else is allowed, done, and enjoyed here. Don’t fret if you spot a look-alike of Jenna Jameson. Or may be the real Jenna. Who cares? Just enjoy.